


Till it kills you both

by fempenny



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, More Tags will Come Later, On the Road Again Tour, Pining, Post-The X Factor Era, Take Me Home Tour, The X Factor Era, Where We Are Tour, i think, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-15 10:58:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7219690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fempenny/pseuds/fempenny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In contrast to many beliefs, they weren’t immediately best friends.<br/>Then they were.<br/>Then they were not quite.<br/>Then they definitely weren’t.<br/>Yeah, it is a complicated story…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First meetings and angry conversations

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I'm posting, so please be gentle.  
> I don't have a beta, so any mistakes are entirely my own. 
> 
> I don't care if it's real or not. They will always form the perfect love story.

Louis didn’t understand it. He had immediately hit it off with three of the boys.  
Okay, he and Liam could bicker from time to time, but that was because they were so different. They were friends though, Liam was kind and helpful. Louis admired his drive, his perseverance. He liked how the boy was obsessed with every single Marvel movie. And man, that boy could sing.  
  
Niall was different, he felt more like a little brother than a friend.  
He was loud, always excited, ate his bodyweight in food approximately every hour, and best of all, absolutely adored Louis.  
He was impressed with every single one of his pranks and laughed at all of his stupid jokes.  
  
Zayn was a lot like his best mate from home, he was his perfect partner in crime.  
They drank together, smoked together. Every prank Louis pulled, Zayn was somehow involved in as well.  
  
The boys had been living together for a bit more than a week and he already considered the three of them as his closest friends.

Then there was Harry. Harry Styles with his thick curly hair, his big green eyes and the bloody dimples. The charming Harry Styles that was kind and polite and flirted with absolutely everything and everyone. Well, everyone except for Louis.

Because for the last week and a half that the boys had spent in the bungalow of Harry’s stepfather, Harry had barely spoken a word to Louis.  
Which would have been fine if he was a shy person, but Louis knew he wasn’t. He had seen him interact with other people and the boy was anything but shy. So why, why was it that whenever he entered a room, Harry suddenly stopped talking? Why was it that he could laugh with Zayn and Niall, but whenever Louis made a joke, he had to press his hand to his mouth to supress it? Why was it that the boy sometimes couldn’t even look at him?  
He didn’t understand it and it annoyed him. Even more so because it was the exact opposite of what he’d expected after hearing that he was in a band with the same boy he’d met in the toilet.

 

 

_Louis was nervous, but not as nervous as he’d imagined he would be only minutes for his audition. He had seen a couple of the other auditions and some of them were so good that he was now almost a hundred percent certain that he wouldn’t get through. Not the best feeling, but apparently great for the nerves._

_He went over the lyrics in his head once again. Not getting through was something he could accept. Humiliating himself by forgetting the lines however…_   
_Louis was so focused on his song that he didn’t notice someone entering the toilet. He didn’t notice the boy standing at the urinal right next to his. It was only when the boy suddenly coughed that he startled from his thoughts. He turned his head towards the boy and said._

_‘Hi.’_

_The boy was obviously not expecting Louis to talk to him, because when he did, he almost jumped, turning around to face Louis and then …_

_‘Oops, oh shit, omg, I’m sorry! I can’t believe I just did that. I’m so sorry!’ the boy stammered before dropping on his knees and trying to clean Louis’s shoes._

_Louis only chuckled and grabbed the boy’s shoulders, pulling him on his feet again._   
_‘Don’t worry about it curly, those things have seen worse than the pee of a future popstar.’_

_The blush on the boy’s face grew after this remark, but there was also a shy smile on his face now, showing off the dimple in his left cheek._

_‘I’ve seen your audition, you were brilliant mate! Do you mind giving me an autograph so that when you’re all famous I can sell the shoes you peed on and use the autograph as prove?_

_The boy was full on grinning now, which made his dimple even deeper, almost looking like a crater._   
_‘Thanks. Uhm, yeah, sure if you really want to. M’Harry by the way. Harry Styles.’_

_Louis smiled back at him._   
_‘Well Harry, Harold Styles, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Louis. And yes, I actually do want that._

_So he got an autograph. And a picture as well, because Harry insisted that he needed this just in case he lost the small piece of toilet paper._   
_After that he excused himself by saying that he really had to go if he didn’t want to miss his audition. He waved the curly haired boy goodbye and was about to leave the toilet when he heard Harry say:_

_‘Hey Lou … I really hope you get through as well.’_

_Louis simply smiled and winked, before exiting the toilets, but when he was walking towards the stage all he could think was: Yeah, so do I._

  
‘Zaynie, I need to talk to you, I need your help.’ Louis complained.  
He fell down on the other side of the couch and placed his feet on Zayn’s lap.

Without even sparing him a glance, Zayn removed his feet from his lap and said ‘Yes Lou, your bum looks great in those trousers, you should definitely keep wearing them.’

‘Obviously,’ he scoffed, ‘but that’s not what I was talking about.  
Please Zayn, this is serious. This is about the future of our band, or about the end of it, if you can’t help me.’

Zayn sighed, but put his book down and looked up at him. ‘You’re such a drama queen Lou… What’s the problem?’  
‘

It’s Harry.’

‘Harry is the problem? How can Harry be a problem? The boy doesn’t hurt a fucking fly.’ Zayn chuckled.

‘He hates me.’ Louis muttered with his head pressed in one of the pillows of the couch.

‘What do you mean he hates you? I don’t think Harry is even capable of hating.’

‘Well apparently he is, because he hates me. And I don’t understand it and I can’t deal with it anymore.’  
Maybe it was the sharp tone in the voice of his mate, because with a much more serious voice Zayn said, ‘Alright then, tell me what’s wrong.’

‘I don’t know. He never talks to me and whenever I try to talk to him, all I get are some short answers. I sometimes even feel like he’s actively trying to avoid me. And I seriously don’t get it, because when we first met everything was totally fine, I thought he genuinely liked me. What did I do? Am I really that much of a twat?’

‘Of course you’re not Lou, maybe he just needs to get used to you.’

‘But whyyy?’ Louis whined, ‘People never need to get used to me. They always like me immediately.’

Zayn rolled his eyes, ‘just talk to him okay? Tell him how you feel and he’ll probably tell you that there is absolutely nothing to worry about and that he adores you just as much as the rest of the world.’

 

  


All five boys were relaxing on the couch, watching a movie, but Louis wasn’t paying attention. He was thinking and almost halfway through the movie he had made up his mind. He wasn’t going to do it. It was too awkward. He couldn’t just sit Harry down and talk to him. He couldn’t.  
So that was exactly what he texted Zayn.  
Seconds later he got a response.

 **Yes you are going to talk to him Lou, this whole thing is ridiculous and you need to sort it out.  
****  
** He glared at Zayn over his phone and saw the other boy already frowning at him. He looked back at his phone when he got another text.  
  
**Go to the kitchen, I’ll talk to you there.**  
  
Fine. Was the only thing Louis responded.  
  
He stood up and announced ‘Lads, I really crave another beer, do you guys want something?’  
  
‘No thanks, mate.’ Liam answered.  
  
‘For me a beer as well please.’ Zayn and Niall both said. ‘Oh and can you make me some nachos?’ Niall added. The boys all rolled their eyes, by now used to Niall’s insatiable appetite.  
  
Harry simple shook his head, which Louis tried not to take personal.  
  
‘Okay, I’ll be back in a sec.’ Louis said before heading towards the kitchen.  
  
He had just finished putting the cheese on the tortilla chips and was about to put the nachos in the oven when he heard the kitchen door open.  
  
‘Zayn, I’m serious, I’m not going to-‘ he started, before quickly stopping himself again when he turned around and saw that the boy standing in front of him wasn’t Zayn.  
  
‘Hi’ Harry said, looking at his feet and reminding Louis a lot of the boy he first met in the toilet.  
‘Uhm, Zayn said you wanted to talk to him, so uhm… Here I am?

He was going to murder Zayn. And not quick and painless, no he was going to chop the backstabbing bastard into pieces and make it hurt as much as possible.  
He was so busy plotting the murder that he completely forgot to answer the boy in front of him.  
  
‘Okay, uhm, so apparently Zayn was wrong… Uhm I’ll go back then.’ Harry muttered, still avoiding every form of eye contact. ‘Don’t forget the nachos’  
  
‘Fuck it’ Louis thought when Harry was about to leave the kitchen.  
‘Why do you hate me?’ he blurted out.  
  
Harry must have gotten a whiplash that’s how fast he turned around. ‘What!?’  
  
‘Why do you hate me?’ Louis repeated and now he was the one avoiding Harry’s eyes.  
  
‘I don’t hate you.’ Harry said with a very questioning tone in his voice as if he was genuinely confused to what was happening right now.  
  
‘Oh don’t bullshit me Harry. When we first met I thought we had really hit it off, I was actually really excited when we were put in a band together, but ever since that happened, I think I can count the times you directly spoke to me on one hand. And don’t tell me you’re shy, because I’ve seen you the last couple of weeks and you’re not. You’re avoiding me all the time and sometimes you won’t even look at me.’  
Louis was almost yelling at this point.  
‘Look, I get that I can be annoying sometimes, but you have never even given me a chance and I want to know why.’

Harry was beet red by now.

‘Really Louis, I don’t hate you. Of course I don’t hate you, it’s just – Oh god, this is awkward… I’m sorry I – I don’t hate you I promise!’ he stammered before storming out of the kitchen.

‘Fuck.’ Louis said aloud, banging his head against the door of the fridge exactly when the alarm of the oven went off to tell him the nachos were finished.

Yeah he was definitely going to kill Zayn. 

 


	2. Magical pillow forts and bitter comments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about any mistake there might be.  
> English isn't my first language and I don't have a beta. 
> 
> I don't care if it's real or not. They will always form the perfect love story

He talked to Zayn immediately after the horrible talk. The boy had simply laughed at him, said that everything would be fine and made him play a game of FiFa to take his mind of things.

Things weren’t fine.

If Louis thought that Harry was avoiding him before, he was sure about it now.  
  
Because before ‘the talk’ they could still be in the same room together. But the day after, every time Louis entered one, Harry couldn’t get out of there fast enough, muttering some lame excuse about having to call someone or whatever.  
He didn’t look at him, barely acknowledged his presence.  
  
And yes, he was aware that others probably wouldn’t have made such a big deal out of this, but Louis was used to being the centre of attention, thank you very much, so to say that he was annoyed was an understatement.  
He was angry, hurt and most of all, still extremely confused.

 

 

He got his confirmation that things between him and Harry had gotten even worse when the next evening Zayn came to him.  
‘Sooo, what exactly did you say to Harry the other night?’  
Louis was lying on his bed and had been texting Stan, his best mate from home. He was actually in quite a good mood, but as soon as Zayn mentioned Harry, his smile turned into a scowl.

‘Just the truth, like you said I should.’ He responded, scowl still on his face.  
‘Okay,’ Zayn said, ‘But – and trust me I say this with all the love in the world – you can be a bit full on sometimes Lou, even if you don’t always mean it that way, so what _exactly_ did you say?’

The confusion and hurt Louis had felt prior, now made way for just anger. ‘Why?’ he demanded, ‘Has he been talking shit about me? He has hasn’t he?’

'No, of course not, he just –' Zayn started, but Louis immediately interrupted him.

‘I can’t believe that guy. He hates me, but when I ask him for an explanation he just stands there, looking at me as if I’m some kind of idiot that is way beneath him. And if that’s not enough, he’s also talking shit about me behind my back to the guys that actually _do_ like me. What the fuck.’

‘Lou, you don’t understand, that’s not what –' Zayn tried, but again, Louis didn’t let him finish his sentence. This time, because he stormed out of the room.

 

  
First, he headed towards the kitchen, the place where he was most likely to find Harry. The boy wasn’t there, although he had definitely been there not too long ago, because the room was spotless. Cleaning was not something that he or Zayn did and Niall and Liam had just come back from god knows where a minute ago. So, yeah, well done Harry.  
  
Before he started to think any more good things about him, Louis closed the kitchen door. He walked to the living room, opened the door and he was about to start shouting when he saw that the curly haired boy was there, but he abruptly stopped himself.  
The room looked absolutely magical. A small staircase was standing in the middle of the room and the biggest blanket he had ever seen was thrown over it.  
On the inside, on the ground there were more blankets and a lot of pillows. In the corner of the fort, Louis could see the TV and next to it was a plate filled with chocolates and crisps. The light in the room was dimmed, but it wasn’t dark at all, because the fort was covered with fairy lights.  
He was just standing in the doorway, anger totally forgotten and absolutely gobsmacked. All he could think about were his sisters. About how this was something they all did together almost every weekend, although never as perfect as this. About how much they would love this.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Niall entered the room and said with a very happy voice.

‘Isn’t it great?

Louis was about to tell him that it was much better than just ‘great’ when Niall continued.

‘Liam and I just came back and we found Hazza finishing this. He did it all himself, can you believe that?’

His head snapped to Harry and when he looked at him he saw him quickly looking away. Just as fast as it had disappeared, the forgotten anger returned again and the small smile that had been on Louis’s face since opening the door faded immediately.

‘No, I can’t believe it actually.’ He scowled. ‘What are we? Five year old girls? For fuck’s sake, we should be having parties here, not build bloody pillow forts.’

He turned around and went back to his room, so focused on trying not to care about the perfect looking room that he missed that Harry was still standing in it, looking absolutely miserable.

 

  
Louis wasn’t proud of it, but it became a bit of a routine after this. Whenever Harry said something or did something, Louis would comment something hateful on it.  
  
When Harry had made all the boys the most delicious steaks for dinner. Louis had told him that he only ate his meat well done, instead of the perfect medium rare that was on the plate in front of him. He’d pushed his food away and blamed Harry of trying to poison him.  
  
When it was Harry’s night to pick a movie, Louis complained about Love Actually until about an hour into it. He only stopped when he pretended to fall asleep and started snoring loudly.  
  
When Harry made one of his stupid knock-knock jokes, Louis rolled his eyes and said that even his little sisters knew better jokes.  
  
Worst of all. Whenever they tried out new songs for the competition, dividing the solo’s between them. Louis would always say that Harry wasn’t suitable enough for any of them. Even if all the other boys decided that a part was perfect for Harry, he would argue that it was better for Niall, or Zayn, or Liam. Every single time.  
  
He hated himself for it, but what he hated even more was how Harry wasn’t responding to any of it. When he didn’t eat the steak, Harry simply threw it in the bin.  
When he could barely hear his favourite movie, Harry turned up the sound.  
When Louis didn’t laugh, Harry smiled when Niall did.  
When they talked about his solos, Harry would always say that any of the other boys would nail it as well.  
It was as if he didn’t care at all how Louis felt about him.  
And that was maybe what Louis hated the most about this whole thing.

 

  
In the end it was, surprisingly enough, Liam who had enough of it.  
They had just finished dinner and it was Louis’s time to do the dishes when Liam entered the kitchen.  
  
‘Alright, I have literally no idea what’s going on, but it has to stop.’

‘I agree mate, me doing the dishes is totally wrong. Thank you for seeing that and solving this problem by volunteering to do it yourself.’ Louis joked.

‘I’m serious Lou, this isn’t funny. You need to stop being such a jackass to Harry.

 The moment Harry was mentioned Louis was serious.  
‘First of all: this is none of your fucking business. Second of all: Harry doesn’t give a shit about anything I say to him, so why do I need to change anything. Third of all: He started this by being a jerk to me, so don’t start blaming me.’

‘Oh come on, that’s bullshit. Of course he cares about what you say to him, especially if it’s bloody rude.’

‘No he doesn’t’ Louis said. ‘And it has nothing to do with you, so stay out of it Liam.’

He thought Liam would leave it at this, seeing as the boy didn’t really like arguments, but he was wrong, because Liam’s face hardened and with a sharp tone in his voice he said

‘It definitely is my business. This band is my second chance Louis. I know how it feels to get kicked out of this competition and I’m not going through that again. I’m dead serious about this opportunity, because I don’t know if I’ll get a third. So yes, if one of my bandmates is trying to ruin my chance by making another bandmate cry, and not even just once, but several times, then that has something to do with me.’

‘He cried?’ Louis asked shocked.

Liam sighed. ‘Of course he cried. Have you been keeping track of all the things you said or did to him over the last few days?  
I don’t care what he has done to make you this angry, but you need to apologize for being a dick.’

‘Yeah, alright I will. And I actually am sorry Li. I know how important this is to you. Even more than it is to me, and I would never do anything that would risk ruining your dream.’

‘I know that,’ Liam said in a much more gentle voice. ‘Now go to the garden and find the boy that actually does need to hear your apology.’

 

So that’s exactly what Louis did. He went into the garden, spotted the boy he was looking for, and told him ‘We need to talk.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, I really hope you like it!
> 
> Thoughst and suggestions are always welcome (here or on Tumblr: fempenny.tumblr.com)
> 
> Next chapter will be up next thursday (:


	3. Awkward admissions and friendly jokes

‘We need to talk.’

Harry clearly hadn’t heard him coming, because when Louis started talking he jumped up.

‘Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me.’ He said with his hand over his chest.

‘I’m sorry.’ Louis shrugged, feeling the confidence he had in this conversation slowly leave his body. ‘But uhm, I do think we need to talk.’

Harry’s eyes widened. ‘Why?’ he demanded. ‘Did you talk to Niall? Oh God, he told you everything didn’t he?’

  


 

_He had just finished cutting the peppers for the fajitas and was about to start frying the chicken when Niall entered the kitchen._

_‘Oh food,’ the boy grinned, the grin turning into a pout when Harry slapped the hand that was trying to steal a piece of pepper away._

_‘Fine then.’ He complained. ‘That’s not what I came here for anyway. I want to talk to you.’_

_Harry raised an eyebrow. ‘Talk as in have a serious conversation or talk as in distract me so that I don’t notice you stealing the food I need to prepare dinner?’_

_‘Can’t it be a bit of both?’ Niall asked, giving him his most angelic look. He scoffed when he saw the smug smile on Harry’s face and continued ‘No but seriously Haz, I need to ask you something. It’s about Louis.’_

_This got Harry’s attention and he turned around so quickly that he almost dropped the pan filled with chicken. When he tried to correct his mistake he grabbed onto the hot part of the pan. He quickly put the pan back on the stove and cursed while he rubbed over the sore, red spot on his hand._

_‘What’s wrong with Louis?’ he asked, trying to sound as normal as possible._

_‘Wow that was weird.’ Niall mumbled under his breath with a curious look on his face, which Harry both ignored.  
‘Uhm so Louis talked to Zayn, who talked to me and apparently Louis thinks you hate him.’ _

_When Harry just stared at him he awkwardly sat down on one of the chairs in the kitchen._

_‘Do you want to talk about it?’_

_Harry turned around, turned off the stove so that the chicken wouldn’t burn. He fell down on a chair at the other side of the table and put his head in his hands._

_‘I don’t hate him,’ he muttered ‘of course I don’t hate him.’_

_Niall looked at the boy in front of him and suddenly it clicked._

_‘Oh’ he grinned, ‘no you don’t hate him do you?’_

_Harry looked up from under his arms and glared at him. ‘Shut up. It’s not funny, so stop smiling’_

_Niall smile only grew wider. ‘Awhh, don’t be embarrassed little Hazza, a tiny little crush is nothing to be ashamed about.’  
Then he furrowed his eyebrows. ‘But wait, if you actually like Louis, why does he think you hate him?’_

_Harry sat up straight and Niall could now clearly see the blush that was covering his cheeks. ‘Promise me you won’t laugh if I tell you the story.’ He pleaded._

_Niall simply stretched his pinkie and said: ‘Pinkie promise.’_

_Harry shook his pinkie and let out a deep, rather dramatic sigh. ‘Fine then.’_

_He didn’t immediately begin his explanation and Niall didn’t push him, just patiently waited for him to collect his thought, but after a minute he started talking.’_

_‘I had actually met Louis before the auditions.’ He said, avoiding eye contact with his friend. ‘We went to the same Script concert in Manchester last year. I don’t think he saw me, or if he did he definitely wouldn’t have remembered me, but I remembered him because I remember thinking that he was one of the prettiest boys I’d ever seen.  
I obviously didn’t expect to ever see him again, so when I run in to him in the bathroom at the auditions, I was a bit shocked to say the least.’_

_The blush on his face deepened._

_‘So shocked that I accidentally peed on him and ruined his shoes.’_

_This last sentence was spoken so fast that if Niall hadn’t been paying as much attention as he had, he probably wouldn’t have understood it. He did however and he immediately started laughing._

_Harry buried his face in his hands again and whined: ‘Niall, you promised!’_

_‘I’m sorry Haz,’ he snickered, ‘I tried, I really did, but you actually peed on a guy you like. As if you were marking your territory.’_

_‘Yeah, yeah, hilarious.’ Harry said sarcastically. ‘Worse was that he was really nice about it too. We had a lovely chat in the bathroom and it only really sank in how much of a fool I had made out of myself when he left, but then I thought: who cares, I’m probably not going to see this boy again, because what are the odds that we_ both _get through in this competition.’_

_Niall started laughing again. ‘Or that you’re put together in the same band.’_

_‘Exactly.’ He said. ‘So now I’m too embarrassed to talk to him, because he is so cool and I behaved like such a loser.’ ‘Which,’ he continued, ‘is probably why he thinks I hate him.’_

_‘Yeah, that’s probably it.’ Niall agreed. ‘Just talk to him mate, tell him that at first you thought he was a bit intimidating, but that you’d like to be friends and then everything will be fine, trust me.’_  
  
  


 

Louis furrowed his eyebrows and looked confused at the panicking boy in front of him. ‘No I didn’t talk to Niall, I talked to Liam. And to Zayn for that matter. I have talked to Niall as well, obviously, but not about you.’ He was rambling now, which was always a clear sign that he was nervous. ‘Why? What would Niall tell me?’

Relief washed over Harry’s face. ‘Oh uhm, nothing important.’

Louis was instantly annoyed again. ‘Fine, don’t tell me then. You know what. Forget about it, we won’t talk, because apparently talking to me is the last thing you want to do.’  


Liam was probably going to be disappointed in him, but he wasn’t going to keep making an effort. He had tried to talk to the boy twice now and he wasn’t going to keep trying. But before he even got the chance to walk away, Harry blurted out

‘I don’t hate you.’

‘Excuse me.’

‘I don’t hate you.’ Harry repeated. ‘It’s just that –‘A blush started forming on his face, ‘I don’t know, I guess I was a bit intimidated by you when I first met you. I obviously behaved like an idiot when we first met, so I was super ashamed about that and you are older than I am and you’re cool and funny and people look up to you, so yeah, I was intimidated and didn’t really know how to talk to you.’

When he was finished he awkwardly looked up at Louis and saw that the boy was silently laughing.

He immediately hid his face in his hands. ‘Ugh, why do people keep doing that?’ he mumbled inaudible.

‘I’m sorry.’ Louis laughed, ‘it’s just that I thought you were super cool and when you didn’t talk to me, I thought it was because you thought you were too good for me. So hearing that you were intimidated by _me_ is just really funny.’ His face became a bit more serious when he continued, ‘and I’m also sorry about being such a dick. That pillow fort was epic, you should definitely make it for my sisters sometime and you are a great cook. Oh and I know you don’t need to hear me saying this, but I actually think you are a brilliant singer. The best in our group, better even than Liam.’

Harry’s face was still coloured by a blush, but he was also smiling widely now, dimples clearly showing.

‘Are you not going to apologise for making fun of my jokes?’ he asked with a twinkle in his eyes when they both walked back to the bungalow.

Louis snorted. ‘Not a chance in hell Styles, your jokes are horrible.’

They both laughed. When they were about to enter the bungalow again, Louis stopped him by putting his hand on his shoulder.

Harry questioningly looked up at him.

‘Friends?’ Louis asked him.

‘Yeah, Friends.’ Harry agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!   
> Kudo's and comments are highly appreciated.  
> Next update is going to be next thursday

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, i hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> I plan to update every thursday


End file.
